tomsteve

I can really relate to that,madz. I had nothing but gloom, despair, and agony for quite some time early one. I had heard of the pink cloud thing during that time, but ya know who I heard it comin from?
people that had returned to AA sayin ," I got on a pink cloud and then _________ happened and I drank."
that made me rather greatful to not be getting on a pink cloud and if I did, it was suggested I had a pink parachute because just as in hard times
this,too, shall pass.
when did it get better? lookin back id say from day 1. I wasn't hungover every morning, so that was already better. I didn't have fear over what I might have done or said the night before while in a blackout so that was better. I knew where I was when I woke up in the morning so that was better.

as far as things internally, welp, that took T.I.M.E. I remember hearing give AA 90 days and if I wasn't happy with the results, I was welcome to have the misery refunded at the door.
I went to meetings,read the big book, worked the steps,prayed, repeated.
90 days in I was just about to start the 4th step. I remember just one thing from the meeting I went to on the 90th day. that was sayin," I was told to give the program 90 days and if I wasn't happy then the misery would be refunded. I don't know if im happy but I know im not miserable like I was when I walked in so somethings different. think i'll give it another 90 days."

when did it truly start feeling better and I noticed? id say after step 5.
however
I continued to work the steps and got weller and weller.

theres promises associated with each step and my favorite that happened are the 10th step promises:

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

have ya been to yer doctor about the pain?maybe youre putting on weight that the liquid diet didn't? what is the normal weight range for your age and height?