Thank you, thank you!!!!!!!
Now for possible insanity on my part
I got so angry yesterday. He told my sons he would see them, they had spoken earlier and said he was tired and was going to take a nap and then call back to see them. He never did! Son was hurt. I drove to his parents house where he is supposed to be living at 12am. Cars were there but not his. His "gf" lives an hour and a half away. All I could think was that A....hole was at her house instead of with my sons. I didn't drive to her house, but came home to my sons. But I am contemplating it. She has a well known business where she lives and I have thought of dropping by as a customer.
Dont do that. She probably knows who you are. This will only support that you are "crazy". Not a good idea.
I was going to be friendly with her and bring up whether my "Fake Hubby" would like some thing she sells and ask if she is married or has a bf who likes that.
Again, in the long or short will only make you look crazy.
Has anyone ever talked to the other woman without them knowing who you are? He is still MY husband. Do you just try not to fight for a 20+ yr marriage? Even though he has treated me badly? and yes she knew he is married with kids.
Ok. I know this is going to be a hard pill to swallow. People AREN"T property. You do not own this man, he does not own you. A marriage is a a breakable contract. He has decided (for now) to break the contract. He has every right in the world to do so.
Here you right the most important part of this "even though he has treated me badly".
Your description of this marriage is pretty horrific. I understand the feelings you are having, definitely get that him leaving, leaving you with his messes, and him going off with someone else is a kick in the gut.
Its also the winning lotto ticket. There is no prize to be had with this person. He was (and is) a terrible partner. That he left is a gift to you from the Universe as most people aren't that fortunate and can't get rid of their loser alcoholics. You need to start looking at the reality of what you are fighting for Dina - what ARE you fighting for here? Because this man has brought nothing but stress and heart ache to your life so to consider to "fight for him" is contrary to what he deserves, and what YOU deserve.
Do i just let her ride off with m y husband? I am not excusing his behavior, but why would someone sleep with a married man with kids?
She isn't "riding off with him". She didn't kidnap him. You cannot stop him from being with her or her with him. Why she would sleep with him or he her honestly has nothing to do with YOU. What she has chosen to do is get herself involved with someone who is unavailable 100%, will have to get a divorce to be with her, doesn't have a pot to **** in , and is a newly recovered alcoholic. Hmmm. If I were to do anything here I might put a gold bow on his head and offer to pay her a large sum to NEVER send him back my way. Not kidding.
You got this Dina - just gotta change the way you look at it.