I'm going through similar - I'm 45 and fully aware that holding onto resentments harms me and is useless, but when you have been hurt its not easy to just let it go and move on.
I brought it up in my group today and the leader suggested writing down all my feelings onto paper, any feelings that come. I went home and wrote two sides of paper so many feelings and words flooded out, I ended up really crying. I then burned it and I do feel better. Sad and a bit low but I don't feel like numbing it with alcohol anymore - today anyway.
Try to go with it and feel and grieve and cry, don't go to alcohol to block it out. I know it hurts, time will heal.