Hi Doug!
When I first came into AA, I spent alot of time comparing my sobriety and my program to other people's.
I highly UN-recommend that. It usually made me feel worthless. Everyone works their own program at their own speed. What works for me may not work for someone else.
I think it's pretty common to feel like an outsider at first. I sure did. What helped
me was to start sharing more during meetings, even tho I didn't think I sounded "wise" like everyone else did when they shared. I usually totally lost track of what I wanted to say, tripped over my words and generally felt dumb. But I made myself keep trying so that people could get to know me. If someone said something during the meeting that really struck a chord with me [or that I didn't understand] I'd go up to them after the meeting and tell them that and start a conversation. [This was soooo hard cuz I was the shyest person in the world.]
As far as choosing a sponsor, it's really
not an imposition to ask someone! If they're not able to it's up to them to say so. I was asked to sponsor someone once when I was in the middle of a major personal crisis. There's no way I'd have been a good sponsor at that point and I told her that. No big deal.
[And,
NOT that it's a very good idea, but I didn't get a sponsor and start working the steps til I was sober for years. Don't tell - really not too proud of that.
]
Keep in mind that a sponsor is not necessarily a long-term commitment. You have to "try each other on for size" before you'll know if you can work together. If not, ask someone else. Again, no big deal. Most sponsors will want to start at step one when the 2 of you first start out. Don't be offended! It'll make sense soon enough.
The spiritual awakening is a gift for working the
12 steps.
It will happen.
Keep up the good work!!
Keep coming back!