Originally Posted by
dandylion 
thousandwords......can we talk a bit about being seen as the "bad guy"?
I know that a lot of people fear what the "story" will look like to the rest of the world, as well as family and friends....
that he will always be able to tell around, what a bad person you were to desert him in "his time of need", and take away his "family", when he was so will ing to go to kneel at the shrine of marriage counseling and put the plug in the jug......
Is it possible that you fear that he will be "seen", and, you won't??
Now, I am just spitballing, here...but, am I, at least, a little bit close?
Yes, in a way. But I worry about being seen as the "bad guy" maybe to him? Like HE WILL NEVER GET WHY and it bothers me to no end. Just the fact that I am asking for something and he doesn't like it, so he finds a "solution"...when the solution is to for once just allow me to dictate "our" lives.
He really does not realize how bad things were? It makes me second guess my reality in a way? And yes, We have fully enmeshed families and friends going back 20+ years and that will not be fun...I have been the scapegoat for a lot of our problems and this will be another. And it will make things hard for child support and legally - I will literally have to fight for ev.er.y.thing. from this man and I am not sure I have the strength to do that. I really just want to be done and get through this already. 3 weeks now and I have been sleeping on the couch. I ask to end the relationship, don't get that request honored and I am the one going without...I am the one that needs to move..I do all the adjusting and navigating and it sucks.
Not sure that really answered your question haha..but that is where my mind took me.