I am worrying my heart too much about his emotional needs right now. It is not healthy and I know it. I want to support him, but not as his spouse. Sounds so simple, yet it is breaking my heart to do this, and to have to re-hash what I want over and over again. I wish he would stop worrying about understanding this and just take it for what I am asking. I live in a wishy washy lalaland and I feel self conscious still posting the same stuff here!
Dandy: your reply came in as I was replying:
I think it is premature also but that's the magic wand he wants to wave. If I do go to an appointment - I will be sure to write down exactly why we are in this situation, so I do not falter or shrivel up in the moment. I plan on utilizing this appointment to lay it all out for him and he may hear things he doesn't want to hear, or others to hear but there is so much fog in his brain,
His goals are what drive our life and it sucks. It IS my turn for me. And I need to remind myself it is not selfish - it the best for the kids in the long run. 20 days of not drinking I cannot let my brain forget the years of heartache and stress and losing myself.