A little conviction and guilt right now but more pure frustration than anything else. I stay rock solid sober for 3 months. Had a sudden urge and acted on it today. Bought a 6 pack and just looked at for 30 minutes before drinking it knowing I'd hate myself. I drank it anyway, for buzzed and after it was gone just absolutely hated myself and begged to be sober again. I dunno just wanted to share this. I don't understand why I do this. Totally sober for 3 months then this.