Because I am an alcoholic and my dumb addicted brain tells myself it's going to be ok. For a while I had an alarm go off on 3pm Friday telling me not to buy beer. I am educated about my alcohol addiction but once off the wagon it makes it easier to give in. I get it, it's me against me. No meetings or sponsor can be with me at all times. I just need to remember how important it is to not drink. I'm triggered everywhere, I work in the city with liquor and addicts everywhere. It's up to me.... I go months with nothing, then decide to have a few..... 10 months later total binge disaster.