I am going to be very blunt here, and it's not to hurt you. Believe that.
Run. Run away now. Addiction that is family wide is even harder.
Under no circumstances should you procreate with this man. If you think it's chaotic and painful now, throw children in the mix and it becomes the most toxic and tragic thing you have ever experienced, and one in which you have very little control over. I know, it's my life, and it's been the most painful thing I have ever had to deal with. You never know love for anything like your own child, and to see them hurt because of addiction and the bad behaviors that follow is nothing but tragic.
Sending hugs. I second getting face to face support and therapy, for YOU.