Hi Emma,
I'm sorry you had a blackout, they can be very scary. I also tried moderating my drinking in the past, but it never seemed to work, before long I was back to drinking way too much, way too often.
Sobriety is so much easier, you don't have to wonder what happened the night before, you don't need to have that interanal argument about whether or not to have one more. You will feel so much better physically and mentally.
Not sure if you have read Blackout by Sarah Hepola, if you haven't, you might enjoy it.
Looking forward to continue to hear how you are doing in recovery.
❤Delilah