I also have to add that I never ever go out. I was last out October before this episode. I work in the city during the day and I spend 4pm-8pm with my kids usually each night. Then I am mixing and working on other peoples or my music from 8pm-1am although remotely working on the projects in the studio from a far location during the day and during the times I am home I am constantly busy. My phone rings off the hook. The reason I am saying this is the last post seemed like I live the life style of a everyday club DJ but I barely accept gigs because its not worth going out and I can't make the wife mad. Heck we do have small kids. I do get offers but a few hundred dollar DJ gig in the city is not worth it when I am happier alone working on music. I am a very alone aside from my family person. I have one engineer who works in my studio during the day and he is great and saved my ass the other day during my spell. I don't know. My wife said I should forgive myself. I am like successful producer then turn into a different person DJ drunk retart. I downloaded Randy Blythe's book that has to do with sobriety. I am going to keep like rocking the not drinking kick and really get into it. Done this and life has been great for many months many times. So much regret though...... I just wish I had that gig back and didn't slam like 5 shots of whiskey.... Last thing I really remembered for a few days. I can't seem to forgive myself and my circle of friends are like wtf. Of course they know I am a drunk ass. Thanks everyone!