Hi and welcome back cantstaystopped
It's often harder to get back on the right road after a relapse - I klnow my inner addict wanted me thinking I'd never get sober - I was weak, helpless guilty ashamed and lower than a snake's belly.
Of course none of that is true - but it made it easier for me to continue to drink - it's hard to rise above that inner dialogue.
It is possible tho, of course
If you used AA in the past why not try that again - start the steps over? maybe even fresh with a new sponsor?
D