Hi, teacup,
Welcome! This is a very old thread (from 2009), so you might get more helpful responses if you start a new thread and introduce yourself.
I'm sorry for your pain. It's very hard to see someone we care about ruining their lives. I'm sure he DID care, as much as he could. Alcoholics are very messed-up in their thinking, and as long as they continue to drink, they aren't reliable partners (or friends).