I had lots of fun being assertive in my second month of sobriety. And then I lost my backbone again. I started up a new side stream of income, something I first thought about doing back when I was feeling my most confident, and am finding I really lack the assertiveness and initiative to approach people as necessary to make this work. So I'm trying to figure out how to get back to where I'm comfortable speaking my mind and being open about my needs.. There's nothing wrong with telling the person from your church that they're making you uncomfortable.. People respect honesty. What they don't respect is someone who flips, meaning you put up with them and act nice to them, until you can't take it any more and you snap at them. You will always be the bad guy if that's the case. You have to set clear boundaries at the beginning.