Good question....
Yes, I truly do want to pass this exam. Finance is all I've known as a career. I have no idea what other abilities or talents I have in my bag right now because I spent 16 years out of the work force and I have no idea what I'd even be good at.
If I had a lot of money or more time, maybe I'd go back to school(not even sure for what, though). But, I don't have much money left in savings. I'm barely holding my finances together as it is. I don't have time to keep taking low paying jobs that don't cover my bills and expenses.
If I pass my licensing exams, I am far more marketable to other companies and for other career paths, even if this one doesn't pan out.
I do know that I had severe test anxiety both times I took the exam and it didn't hit me until I walked in to the testing facility. I need to figure out how to combat that at this point.
If I lose this job, I have no idea what I could even apply for because my experience is so limited. I constantly beat myself up for becoming dependent on my ex financially and for NOT staying in the work force for so many years. The whole career thing, or lack thereof, is depressing to me at this point.