So you saw what happened when you applied the BB test (in a form) of whether you can quit. You don't seem to be able to in the way that you've tried....so what now?
It sounds like a great time for AA (of course, I always say that) - if you want to be sober, you have to want it more than hope for it, put a plan into action more than just think of one, and decide how to keep yourself safe first (ie, don't go to tempting places/around people who drink) etc.....and get some sober time with real commitment that is not conditional or time-based under you so there's an "out" when said condition/time ends.
You can do it.
We don't get unlimited chances at this, if we are alcoholics- I hope you take this as your last one. It is SO much better on this side- promise.