In another thread someone talks about unrequited love and letting go. Cetainly correct. But how? I think I see a glimmer of understanding. We were engaged and had expressed love for each other. I naively thought she was as serious as me and I was intentionally blind to any signs otherwise. Maybe the signs that were there exposed my own issues arising from my alcoholism and that was something I was already in perpetual denial about. When I first found her in bed with this other guy something snapped and my mind superimposed her face on his. It couldn't be. I refused to believe it. I asked him to leave and I dragged her out of the bed. She then asked me to hit her. Crazy. I don't think I had any real idea what I had gotten myself in for in the first place. I got out of there, I didn't want to see a truth and I started binge drinking right away. I never allowed myself to face the truth which had a lot more to do about me than anything else. If I can identify what it is I have to let go of perhaps I can start to do so. What a mess. I'm sick of this anger.