Blankspace,
There is no need to beat yourself up over it. You had 31 days sober and time to process the difference between the two completely different lifestyles. So, now you just have to decide if you want sobriety now. Getting sober is just not drinking but being recovered is getting spiritually fit which will take the desire and need to drink from you. Once you work on your sobriety and recover you will no longer have guilt, remorse, shame, black outs, hang overs, anger, drama, confusion, paranoia, fear, legal problems, etc.
I am praying for you BS and keep coming back we will always be here welcoming you back with open arms.