My son is a songwriter and my favorite song of his is Rope Burn. He wrote when his brother broke up with a long-standing girlfriend. Some of the lyrics:
You think you've lost your love
But what do you expect when you push and shove
Pieces back into place
They're not meant to be arranged
But I’ll hang on
And I will start to learn
That there’s nothing wrong
With getting a little rope burn
When you hang on so tight
Just let it go…
Cuz this wind's got a bitter chill
And you don't even mind stayin' out in the cold
Cuz it's the easiest way for you to keep what you hold
But I’ll hang on
And I will start to learn
That there's no shame in getting a little rope burn
And things have changed
And you’ve got to take it day by day
It has to happen this way
But it’s the start of something great
With a new timeline!
I'm feeling rope burn now.. as I start to let go. My other son and his wife are having their second child in April. They're having a big baby shower when they'll announce the gender next weekend. DH is not invited, because of his drinking.
My son just asked if I'm coming, even though his dad is not invited, and I told him yes, but this is the most painful thing.. My DH would make the most amazing grandfather if he would just sober up. The thought of leaving him home while I go to something so momentous for both of us is tearing me up.
How do you get through it?? The pain is excruciating, thinking of me with his son and grandson at a party, and he's persona non grata. I know he did it to himself, and it's his choice, but that somehow doesn't mitigate the pain.