Thanks for posting this Doug39. I sure can relate! I'm 241 days in after a 20+ year drinking binge. I have also felt very down the past couple of days but I do believe that even though this is no fun at all, it IS normal to have a myriad of emotions early on, even with the help of medication. We're trying to learn how to be human beings again after 20+ years of self-neglect and it's just going to take a while. No way around it, or over it, we just have to go through it.
Work is a big depression/anxiety trigger for me too. I was a little ashamed of myself when my brother called me yesterday to tell me about his day - he is a police officer and the other night he literally watched a friend of the family that he's known for years die, right in front of his eyes, they were not able to save her. She was only 37 years old. I couldn't even begin to imagine having a workday like that. And that's just one day in my brother's life you know? So then I try to keep things in perspective and calm myself down at work but as you probably know, it is very hard when your emotions and brain chemistry seem to be working against you.
I'm not trying throw any hocus pocus at you or anything like that, but you might find this interesting...in addition to me feeling off all week, I also noticed my dogs have been acting weird, a little more agitated and withdrawn than normal. My friend at work said yesterday that her pets have also been acting strange the last few days, and between the two of us we discovered that there has in fact been a full moon this week, and tonight is not only a full moon, but also a penumbral lunar eclipse, and there is apparently a comet coming through as well. Maybe this could also be behind some of the edginess this week? Who's to say....I like to think so, in order to convince myself that I'll feel a little better in a couple days when the full moon is gone...and maybe you will too
I do hope things start to look up for you Doug because you've really accomplished a lot and should be feeling very good about yourself. It is possible you may need to find a new job because quite frankly, it does sound like a depressing environment, but for now maybe just try to relax - eat some good food, call a friend, watch a good movie, maybe go outside later and look at the moon!
