Three Days In
Hello Everyone,
Somewhat shocked I actually took the step to create an account and post but after a bunch of "I'm going to stop drinking" epiphanies and eventual falling back into old habits, decided to try something new.
A bit about me:
I'm in my early 30's, married with one son, live a wonderful suburban lifestyle in the Pacific Northwest. I am not the drink every day type of alcoholic but more of the, when I start, I just can't stop, especially in social settings. My problems with alcohol ebb and flow. I can go weeks and months with my drinking under control, having a few, being responsible, not being a hungover mess etc. Then there are weekends like this past weekend where from Friday night to Sunday night, I couldn't control it.
I come from a family of alcoholics. My Mother is/has been the drink every day type since I was a teenager and the little I know about my father was that he had issues as well. My grandma on my Mom's side was a drunk and my grandpa is just a functional one in my opinion. Numerous aunts, uncles and cousins on my Mom's side fit in the functional category as well. Because of that family history, I have always known in the back of my head that one day, I would likely need to stop completely unless I want to follow down a similar path of my mother.
The turning point for me was being hungover Monday afternoon, throwing up in my toilet from the night before at a Super Bowl (hence the screen name...I'm not creative) with my two year old son laughing and making the retching sounds behind me. The hangovers I get should by themselves be enough to make me quit but hadn't been for the last 8 years or so. I guess I realized that my son isn't some dumb kid who won't remember this type of thing. He mimics everything I do and I want to curtail this now before I make his first real memory me acting like an idiot or being a hungover mess.
I haven't told anyone I am trying to stop, not even my wife, because anyone I would tell has heard it before. I guess I want to get further along than 72 hours out from my last drink before making such a proclamation. I have been perusing the board, reading about how to deal with drinking buddies and have basically decided that I'm going to become a hermit for the next 6 weeks or so I can fully wrap my head around this whole process.
Friends are one thing but my wife is another. Luckily she isn't a big drinker at all and probably only drinks now because I have it in the house. She likes a glass of wine every now and again but that's really it. My question is, when do I tell her? I haven't said anything yet because, as referenced above, I have said this before and made it quite some time without drinking but eventually fell back into it. I guess I'm more afraid of telling her I'm stopping and falling back into my old habits more than sharing with her that I'm trying. She will be ecstatic if I'm serious about this, which I am, as she is sick of me being a dumbass around her and our friends and being a hungover mess when I get into one of my uncontrolled spirals.
I know this is a one day at a time thing and I keep trying to remind myself of that but my mind inevitably drifts off into a "how am I going to not drink during this or this?" and it's daunting. But it's time for me to do this before I seriously hurt myself, my wife or son in any capacity.
Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read/reply to this and any other conversations I am involved in.