First, thank you for your response. I know that a drug is a drug is a drug. No matter what! As an addict, I know better. I had thought to myself, if only I could just do it on special occasions. Or maybe once a month. That would be great! In the beginning, I was able to. Now I cannot go a day without it.
Just some advise to those that need it, had I of continued going to meetings and stayed active in the program, I would have never picked back up. I stopped hearing the message of recovery and I was left with myself and my husband which was already a practicing addict. I completely isolated. I stopped talking to friends and most family members. I am grateful I found this forum. Thank you guys for the advice and support.