I don't know why...aries - I don't feel an ounce of ego gratification from the obsessive type of love. I am drowning in love from my family and friends so not lacking it and using it from him. I simply feel overwhelmed by it and perhaps even burdened in a sense because there is a part of me that feels controlled by it. If someone is constantly praising you and bombarding you with declarations of love on a constant basis it can feel like a big cross to carry. Almost as though you are left without room to slow it down or react to anything else. Think about it...how do you bring the relationship back down to earth and its obvious flaws when you are getting reinforcement of some kind of perfection of who you are. Maybe my brain interprets it as "look how much this person is enamored by you....why would you do anything to disrupt that and spoil that idea"...
And yes I agree Anvil...on all counts this is my issue, not his. I continue to struggle in my life around feeling underwater by the expectations of others. I traveled to see some friends a couple of weekends ago and he was so upset by my absence that he actually told me not to bother to contact him when I arrive there (something he always asks me to do to make sure I got there safely). I felt punished in a sense. He later called and explained it was because I told a white lie the day before (something silly that I fibbed about but made him say what else could I be capable of lying about - ie. an affair, etc.), but again, the issue is with me....why do I constantly allow myself to be servant to things that make me feel uncomfortable. Even when I am busy at work and cannot talk I find myself apologizing when he seems upset by my lack of response. He understands that I can't always talk at work but he will make comments that I have "changed", when really....I just need to time to work because my job is high stress.
As you say, in the end I will have to decide when the bad is too much to even justify the good moments.