It doesn't matter how prepared you felt, it's an emotional process. I think it's smart to embrace it & it sounds like your HP is working through all kinds of channels to keep you moving in a forward direction, that's pretty validating!
Have you ever heard of a book called "Tear Soup"? I love it because it works for any kind of grief - we give a copy to every client suffering any kind of loss. The basic point is that we all build our "Tear Soup" recipe differently & it's ok to grieve on our own timelines.
(((((Hugs)))))