Sorry you are having a bad day doug. You are doing all the right things and should be commended for your efforts. Having said that, we all have bad days...sometimes really bad ones. That's simply part of life and while it's hard to get used to they just happen sometimes. It's OK to feel bad too - sometimes we just do. What's vitally important though is how we react - and you are doing the right thing by coming here to seek help. Going to meetings and getting out to see other people will help too. I hope today gets better!