Good Times Bad Times
Brief history - today I am 106 days sober after 27 years of daily drinking.
Started having severe panic attacks last October, couldn't make it to work, went on a 3 month leave of absence for anxiety and depression.
I am on anxiety medication, been going to AA meetings almost daily, started night school - being seeing a lot of improvement in my mental health.
Yesterday was one of the most stressful days since I got sober. I went back to work, it was tough but I made it through the day. I then had my first exam at night school and I got an excellent grade on it.
Needless to say even those I was mentally and physically exhausted by the end of the day I was proud of myself and on an emotional high.
Today I woke up groggy, anxious and depressed. I couldn't make it in to work and now I am sitting home ashamed, anxious and feeling sorry for myself. I feel like I am letting my wife down, my coworkers down and myself down.
I have no motivation to do anything. I am wondering if since yesterday was such a good day I am feeling down today because I am now back to my boring routine of going to a job everyday that I hate. It is as if I am almost back to square one.
I know I am still early in my recovery and I will experience many ups and downs but these downs are hard to get through.
Thanks for listening.