outlook on life - update
yes even when people are sober they can appear not to be - plenty of nutcases who don't drink
I've had to reconcile myself to a new relationship with them and that has not been easy. I was full time father now I'm an occasional visitor. But I'm thinking long term. It's better that I sober up and make something of what's left of my life so that when they are older I can help them.
I call them twice a week now, I'm introducing my 9yo son to email and I'll see them for a weekend every 3 months. If I ever go back to the UK I'll see them more.
it's not ideal but it's better than I could have hoped a while back when I posted that.