So sorry to hear about your struggles
Finding a great therapist will be good I think, it's healthy to unload emotions especially to someone equipped to give you tools and suggestions on how to cope.
Maybe try this:- look in the mirror every morning and say some positive affirmations such as 'I am a wonderful being, I am deserving of great experiences, I am worthy'. It's hard to do at first but does get easier and I find it helps me