Congratulations on your sobriety sponsx. You must have been through a lot in the past couple of months. I too had a huge clash in a 4-year relationship when I got sober, with a former partner in denial. We weren't married, though, but it was rough nonetheless.
You're still in very early sobriety and this is huge. Since you're asking for advice, I'll just parrot some things I was told that's also worked for me. Whatever happens, don't let the focus stray too far from your recovery plan otherwise it could be a threat to your sobriety. Especially if you experience DT's then sobriety vs relapse could really be a life or death matter.
It's wonderful that you want your wife to get better, but she has to want it too. Many people don't welcome help or opinions if they're not really ready to recover. Not that there isn't any hope, but efforts to help could turn out to be counterproductive because if she stops drinking for you or for anybody else before she's ready, it could easily fail later on. Maybe one way to help right now is simply to lead by example? In any case, just getting one of you sober could be a great first step to a better future for both of you, and you're the one who is ready right now.
Just an idea. When she asks you questions about whether or not she's a good wife and mother, maybe you could also tell her some specific things that she does (or something she did) while she is sober that you like or appreciate? A way to point out that you enjoy her most when she's sober. So it doesn't all just come across as an attack when you're being honest.