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Old 01-31-2017, 03:19 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
thousandwords53
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 612
Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
thousandwords....I, in fact, just went back and read all of your posts.
speaking of "hearts".....it is apparent, from your posts...his actions have eroded your heart, bit by bit, for a long time. When your son said, two years ago, that when he grew up he wasn't going to grow up to be a drunk like his dad? I know that had to be a punch in your heart.
Living in the constant worry and stress erodes a person of their self esteem and hurts them down into their soul.....
His "heart" does not keep him from grinding away at your heart and your self esttem, and your very soul.....

In my book...."lying" for self protection is not a sin. All creatures are allowed self protection! Even, during world War 11 the Catholic nuns lied to the police to save the lives of countless people. They did not consider it a sin.
Lying to p rotect your children is not a sin.

Now, I have know lots and lots of people who have been served protections orders....were they surprised? Sure. Did it kill them...absolutely not. Many of them stomped and growled for a while...but, they adjusted to it.
Just like you have adjusted to living in hell. The thing is...he has done this to himself by mistreating you and the children. You don't deserve how you are living.....
I know that you have the conditioned response to protect him. but, you will be surprised how the false "guilt that you are feeling will go away, after a while.
grieving is made up of lots of feelings...guilt, anger, sadness, feat, etc.---yet, people get over it. I call it the short-term pain for the long term gain.....

I think that it would be a m uch worse trade to feel guilty for keeping the children in this situation......

There comes a time when you just have to do what you know you have to do....
Thank you for this. This is what I really needed today. I will probably need to read that daily until "go time". I have already addressed this in counseling and to my best friend...I just feel like I need an army on my side some moments so thank you ALL. Very much.
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