Guilt, guilt and more guilt
I am grappling with extreme guilt right now about my plan
I *know* it is a safety precaution to file a protective order and to have him served without my involvement = surprise attack on him.
I feel so sad and guilty doing this to the person I have loved and lived with for so many years. I also know that I do not trust him and I hope these safety precautions prove me wrong I really do. I just can't shake this enormous guilt... My mind wavers between both sides of AH.
I need NEED to follow through on my plans, that is for sure. It's the execution of this plan that goes against my way of thinking (which is why I am in this boat to begin with I realize this)
Just had to vent that here.