I like the way you put that, Seren. Thinking has changed over time, but the need to face our/their demons and recover is still very important.
I don't believe it is healthy for anyone in recovery to beat themselves up with shame and blame, it serves no good purpose.
I like the way Steps 8 and 9 in all 12 step programs puts it...
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
In a recovery program or not, I think it helps everyone, including me, to make some kind of peace with anyone we may have harmed in any way in life. It doesn't mean they have to accept the olive branch, or like the way we do it. If we apologize from our hearts and let go of OUR resentments, that's enough and the best amend we can make, to ourselves and others, is to LIVE our lives better and wiser for the journey. As Step 9 says, we don't have to be hurtful or allow hurtful behaviour toward us, in the process. If we do it sincerely, we can then let go of the outcome and continue with our recovery.
Just my thoughts on a brisk Canadian winter morning.