Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Here is what I have learned to do when emotions get too tense with an intimate partner......Announce that I am going to take a time out..."I'm too upset, right now...I am going to cool off...and I will be back later when I've got my thoughts together".
Then, I go off to myself until I can get a better handle on what I want to say or discuss...
That feels more like a win-win for both parties.....and, the other person doesn't think they are being ignored...they know that it is about you.....
RAH & I have both learned to do this in recovery - it is super valuable IMO because it stops the other person from feeling "walked away from".... or taking it personally.
I actually really LIKE when RAH does this - his old style or arguing meant just digging in & saying any & every little thing without filtering it in any way. It often added a lot of fuel to the fire & distracted us from the real issues.