Well the last time I saw her was in February and the last time I had contact via text/email was September. I spoke to her briefly on the phone the day after I last saw her. I had also spoken to her ex a few times, the last being in May when she was in the detox facility. I think we all thought she was out of the woods after the was discharged but obviously that hasn't been the case.
I have an appointment with the counselor Wednesday afternoon. I had appointments every week for the last month except last week because they were totally booked up. No doubt I'm suffering from PTSD-like symptoms. I want to let go, I really do. I guess I just want answers but I doubt I'll ever get them.
She made me something as a thank you gift for all the help I've given her, it's sort of like a collage as she's into arts and crafts and it's meant to be hung on the wall. I've never displayed it and in fact it's been stuffed in a closet ever since she gave it to me. She actually asked for it back last March and I've been tempted to mail it to her but that would break there no contact rule. There are times I want to destroy it or throw it in the trash but I haven't been able to do that yet. Perhaps I should as a first step in healing.