Old 01-29-2017, 08:11 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
53500
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
The last thing I said to her was she would never hear from me again and I need to keep my word.
Yes, you do, it's best. You were smart to realize you could get in trouble and that you chose to not go down this sad and destructive path with her.

I also came close to trouble during my years with my ex - like having the cops search my purse at a bus station. I was a college student then and had been a 'good girl' all my life but fell in love, or so I thought, with an addict. For a time I thought our love could conquer all. However, after enough violence, drunk/stoned driving, police near-misses, lies, broken promises, having my stuff stolen, and on and on - the usual litany of addict life - I came to my senses, told him goodbye and never looked back.

Now, it stuns me I spent that much time with him, put up with that much crap. Lessons learned!

Lesson One: Although I'm intelligent, professional, educated: I'm capable of making huge f'in mistakes in my personal relationships.

Lesson Two: Don't repeat the mistake of thinking I could 'save' an addict.

It was 40 years ago and I have not forgotten those lessons. It sounds like you won't, either.

You express concern about healing, getting past the damage of not being able to trust. You will. Just keep going and wait until you know someone well before you trust them. When you see red flags, pay attention. There are lots of good people out there.
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