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Old 01-29-2017, 05:16 PM
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Expanding
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 384
A little freaked

I'm surrounded by a mess... bags and plastic totes, things in various states of disorder and it's sinking in that in less than 24 hours I'll be on my own for the first time ever. I find myself still trying to make myself small here and not make too much noise. I never really felt comfortable here and I almost feel bad I'm so anxious to get out of here (while being scared of it at the same time!). I know I have it in me to be calm, cool and collected but there's always this self sabotaging side of me that comes out. I think I'm still readying myself for the other shoe to drop so that when it does it won't hurt so bad.

Has anyone else experienced that? Do you find yourself holding your happiness back or purposely grinding yourself down so that when something does inevitably go wrong it won't hurt so much? I don't like that I do this, especially since things hardly ever go that wrong or that badly. Just stinks that when something does happen it justifies the way you feel and sort of keeps that check "in place".
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