Every time I tried to give up I felt just like you. This time however I became so unwell and I was about to lose everything and all of a sudden I wanted to give up. I always wanted to before, but I think I was hoping just stopping would make me feel better and it would carry on from there.
This time it feels different, I am only 4 weeks in but it's been a lovely 4 weeks. This time I don't feel like I'm forcing myself to stop, I truly and utterly want to. I don't know if this makes sense, and I don't know if people have to get to such a bad stage to want it enough to truly end and be happy about it.