Wow could have written the original post. I've spent years on that roundabout! For me it is having to look at the reasons why i cannot make connections with people and then working forward to allowing myself to do so. You must have heard the phrase of being surrounded by people and feeling lonely; unfortunately as i was almost always drinking when in this social situation it was easy to blame the alcohol and it would have been amazing if that was the issue but the alcohol for me was self medicating and a emotional crutch as i could not stand the pain. For me the pain started way before the age i could take the first drink and this is something i now have to work through with help in therapy and outside. Change is really difficult and takes time. Unfortunately it is a case of sitting with the pain, trying not to medicate and seeking a guide as i could not fix myself. I did try over many years so points for trying, maybe?!