SparkleKitty

My friend, even if you STAY, there will be no one to hold him accountable or keep him from drinking himself to death. You can't do that for him, and I believe deep down you probably know that.

Something, however, draws you to him. And it drew you to your ex. After a lifetime of codependency and a series of bad relationships I had to eventually ask myself why I kept choosing people who were, for whatever reason--addiction being one of them--emotionally unavailable. What was I trying to fix? What was I trying to prove?

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and know exactly what you can expect from a relationship with an addict. You won't be able to save him from himself, but you can save you, before it's too late.

In the meantime, growing up in a home with addiction is simply terrible for children. I speak from experience. You will think that they are fine and that they have no idea idea what's going on, but they aren't, and they do; they will find their way into the dance of alcoholism and codependency based on what they see you do and the choices you make. And those things will have long-lasting affects, following them from relationship to relationship, long after they've left your nest. You have a choice to stay and deal with his addiction however you wish. They do not.