Abuse is abuse is abuse. You and your girls have been through things no one should have to experience. I also have some trepidation about "taking advantage" of free services- Veteran's benefits for my health coverage, Legal Aid for my custody case and Medicaid for my sons. I always feel like there's someone else out there who needs/deserves them more. But without that kind of help, I wouldn't have attained the kind of healing that now allows me to live a full and productive life.
I have also given back when the opportunity arises, not financially but by volunteering my time. Not only in Al Anon, I also recently agreed to serve on the advisory board for our local Legal Aid office. That has helped me to know that I am "paying it forward" in a way. I know that you give a lot here on SR and in your Celebrate Recovery group. That counts, believe me.
You are worthy. Sending you lots of strength and healing.