Another thought - I have found that sometimes people will live up to the expectations of others. e.g. very often the "black sheep" of the family will continue to play that role well into adulthood. The expectations become labels.
I've seen that over and over with kids in care, expected to fail - believe in them even if every adult around you says you're nuts and it's mind blowing what happens. The same if they go to a foster carer who decides every child needs someone to see them worth while, someone unbendable in their belief of worth and I've seen the same - things beyond belief, changes beyond explaination.
I'm so learning something - I'm not there yet but something is shifting inside and I'm sensing things begining to get clearer with these confounded expectations!!!