Sometimes the bridge gets burned. They get sick of it and there are no more chances. So the question is: Do you want to get sober enough to stick with it regardless of what happens between you and her? Because if your answer is "no", then your heart isn't really in it. You're not doing it for you. You're doing it to keep your wife. And that kind of sobriety won't last. It's gotta be all in. I'm going to get sober and find recovery and stay in recovery weather she takes me back or not.