Originally Posted by
Jtimber 
After carefully trying to lie to my Mrs over and over and continue drinking she had enough and kicked me out. I feel like I'm at rock bottom!
im truly sorry to read this, but it could just save your life.
the day after my last drunk my( by then ex.i just hadn't been informed yet) fiancé told me some of what I did and said while in a rip snortin blackout drunk the day/night before then tossed me out.
terror, bewilderment, remorse were very strong. that day was the 1st time in my life I looked at my past and saw the wreckage I had done. it was the first time I had fully admitted alcohol was the common denominator in all my problems. I was out of denial.
I was devastated. I felt like a worthless,useless, hopeless,helpless POS. I hated who and what I was.
I can see now the saying:
its darkest before the dawn
is quite true for me. great thing that happened is I surrendered. alcohol had kicked my ass.
and was able to start the process of winning the battle. I did that by going to AA and working the program.
one main criteria for me though:
I did it for me. I had many times in my past I tried to get sober for people,places, and things, and it didn't work.longest I ever managed to stay sober then was about a month.
then back to the same insanity.
this time I wanted to get sober for me. it wasn't easy not thinkin of getting sober for her. yeah, I had hope for us again, but I had to do it for me.