J,
In my opinion, I think you need to take some breaths and breath. Being forced into a solution you are not ready to make at this time is not good. I live by an old AA slogan..... When in doubt..... Don't!!
This poll is like you asking us our opinion if you should divorce your addict or not. It is not our decision. You obviously are not ready to make this decision at this time, so I wouldn't. You might have to step back and lose both of them. I think that is a better solution then marring an addict who has been sober for 100 days or marrying "security" but aren't truly attracted to her.
It is quite odd how you posted this, but I get what you are saying. In my opinion I would seek out a therapist to get your head on straight. I would seek out an attorney to find out your legal rights and responsibilities. I would step away from these women who are demanding you to make a decision that you just can not make at this time.
I would work on being the best Dad to all of your children. That is the most important thing you should do. Don't let people force you into a solution that you could regret sooner then later. Things will follow in the order that God has planned for you. Slow down my friend, and breath.