Reconnecting, if it's going to happen is probably a LONG time off. She's going to have to reconnect with herself as a sober person, if she chooses to stay that way. That could put you on the back burner, even more-so than you were when she was drinking....it's just a lot of hard work.
I second what Lexie said - if you have a chance at reconnecting, you may need to do some of the same hard work she is going to have to do, and Alanon is great place to start.
I takes a long time to dig back out from the wreckage that they cause, and that we enable and allow and often participate in. Nothing happens over night - even though we bank so much on their sobriety fixing all the broken stuff.
Hang in there - take care of yourself!