tursiops999, thank you very much. I read and re-read your response several times.
"It really doesn't matter -- the only thing I have to do is learn how to recognize it, so I can stare down the beast"
You are so right. It doesn't matter what symptoms I experience, I will not drink. If I get to a place where my mental state is unhealthy, I will seek help from a professional. Thank you for pointing out the AV in my post. I'm still learning to recognize it in all it's forms.