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Old 08-30-2005, 03:13 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
StandingStrong
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
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I was looking for something in regards to manipulation and ran across this old post so I thought I'd bump it back up as I have a reply. LOL
Whether a behaviour is learned - or even if it's a character flaw - I think it's important to realize that whether by default of the learned behaviour, the denial of an existing problem, as well as many other realms of it all - we don't always know when we are being manipulated.
For example, I have a friend that cares about me so much that I can manipulate them to do whatever I want as well as manipulate them to feel what I want them to feel. In essence, they are like a puppet on a string.
However - take my ah - he can manipulate me whereas I've never known anyone else that could do that to me. Add in the fact that I don't even realize he's doing it and it creates a whole other issue. Is it that I'm naive or that I'm in denial? Maybe both.
Have I been the victim? Oh, definately! And I was good at it. "Poor me".
And yet through my recovery and my growth, my strength, etc. I still have friends that continue to point out to me just how ah plays with my head and manipulates me, my thoughts, my feelings, etc. Yes, I may be in charge of my own self - however, with mind games, it's like a con. You're getting taken without realizing you're even being scammed.
But what I've come to discover (at least in my own personal dealings) is that there is usually just a few types that are really manipulated.
1. The naive person
2. The person that loves another more than themselves
3. The person that lives in denial
4. The person that likes to be controlled.
I'm sure there are more and more varieties of this, these are just my own thoughts.

I think a better route for me would be to find a way to realize when ah is manipulating me. (being domineering, controlling, or whatever) so that I could recognize his defect and not sell my self esteem for it.
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