I hope that you are just licking your wounds right now and not that you had some major health incident.
If it is just that you picked up a drink or twenty, please come back and talk to us because the shame and embarrassment won't harm you but continuing to drink will. We all understand here and we'll leave a light on for you.
Prayers go out for your healing. As you can see, there are many people in your corner, stargazer.