I find that my recovery work cycles around a lot of the time too Liz. It's not a failure in my process or in the work that I do but that as I continue to grow & learn more & have more knowledge to apply, it changes the way I look at things. And as I get healthier & more confident I am capable of handling more & more.
It puts me in mind of that saying, "when you know better, you do better". If I find more to examine in an issue it isn't necessarily because I shortcut the work involved, but that new tools & new insights help me to have better clarity than I had previously.
As long as I'm not wallowing (moving in to my Wound Territory & setting up camp, refusing to do anything but examine it over & over & over & calling that "healing"), these re-visits help me make new headway. My best friend & I refer to it like a spiritual "cleaning" & marvel at how you sometimes have to go back into some "rooms" over & over & over to really de-clutter them fully. Sometimes you can't GET to all of it at once because you have to break things down in layers & accept the pieces & parts one-by-one.
I remember a convo we had a couple of years ago where I was lamenting finding myself retracing old issues over again & how I was just not expecting to be walking back in this circle again. I told her I felt like I was all geared up to clean out a hallway closet that had been ignored but when I wrenched the door fully open to examine the insides, I found a hallway leading to another entire wing of the house full of emotional damage I hadn't even realized was there because it had been sealed up tightly for so long. I couldn't have known it was there because it took me *that* long in my recovery to clear away the boxes & cobwebs & old crap stacked outside blocking the door. I hadn't even known there WAS a door there until recently, ya know?
Just remember to cut yourself some slack Liz, you can be really hard on yourself! Don't worry about doing it "right" or "perfectly" or any of that noise - just do "you" honestly & whole-heartedly & everything else will fall into place around you, I'm sure of it.
