Day 6- First timer
The anxiety today has been pretty much non stop. I had cravings at lunch time when I took my two daughters out for lunch I kept looking at the bar I guess you could say I had a thirst for a drink. Since this is the first time I have really committed myself to not drink I'm really scared. I have been concerned about my drinking before but this last friday I got drunk and had the worst ptsd anxiety attack while drunk. It was an anniversary of a really traumatic event and I was trying to drink to not think about it but it really backfired. Waking up Saturday I found out I posted a really bizarre status message while drunk and everyone was worried about me. No one really knows I drink a lot except my family so I can't share my story or successes with anyone so I'm glad to have found this forum to get support and just talk about it.
I was proud today to wake up early and accomplish a lot. I made appointments, brought my children to their appointments on time, even cleaning more so I hope this continues. But I feel kind of bad because my husband asked me right after my long day if I wanted some wine. Then after immediately said "Oh ya your not drinking". Which is fine but then he drinks a whole 5oz bottle of wine right in front of me and then walks away and leaves the rest of the four pack he bought right on the counter. I swear it was calling to me. Tonight I came on the internet and found this forum as a way to stay strong and remember just why I am changing my life. It helped and now 4 hours later my husband is passed out in bed drunk and I still have energy and am doing laundry so I guess I did good this time. Wish me luck! I hope to go through this journey with some of you and we can help eachother out. My anxiety is saying this post is not making sense but I'm going to post anyways.